The Beekeeper (2024)

The latest Jason Statham action vehicle The Beekeeper is “John Wick with bees” in the same way that the recent Nic Cage culinary thriller Pig was “John Wick with a pig”.  Stylistically, neither film emulates the tactile, close quarters fight choreography that John Wick has inspired in the past decade of DTV action schlock.  In Pig, Nic Cage disposes of his enemies with carefully prepared meals; in The Beekeeper, Jason Statham specializes in rapidly firing guns & quips, not performing balletically brutal stunts.  However, both films do borrow from John Wick’s preposterous character motivations and worldbuilding indulgences for narrative convenience.  In John Wick, Keanu Reeves’s dog is killed by home invaders, sending him on a one-man revenge mission where he processes grief for his dead wife by avenging his favorite animal.  In Pig, Nic Cage’s pet truffle pig is kidnapped, sending him on a one-man revenge mission where he processes grief for his dead wife by avenging his favorite animal.  In The Beekeeper, Jason Statham’s beehives are blown apart by shotguns, and . . . you fill in the blanks.  All three men are pulled out of retirement for one more job, re-entering absurdly well-organized underground societies of mafiosos, chefs, and Deep State government supersoldiers, respectively.  In terms of action movie aesthetics, The Beekeeper hails from a much older style of inane shoot-em-ups that long predate John Wick, the kind of movies that star Arnold Schwarzenegger as a retired small-town American supersoldier with an unexplained Austrian accent and a crippling addiction to situational puns.  It clearly adheres to a “John Wick with bees” narrative template, though, if not only for the sake of convenience.

It may be a mistake to cite either Commando or John Wick when singing the praises of this disposable January schlock, since those comparisons set expectations a little too high.  Really, The Beekeeper is the kind of Newsmaxed out conservative fantasy that usually gets developed into a CBS procedural you’ve never heard of but tops the Nielsen ratings every week.  Thankfully, it’s an easily digestible 100min gunfight oozing with an excess of bee puns instead.  Statham stars as both a literal and a figurative beekeeper.  He was once trained as a Deep State supersoldier for a secret government agency known as The Beekeepers, who are explained to be more powerful & secretive than the FBI & CIA combined.  After retirement from the organization, he took up legitimate beekeeping – a peaceful pastime that allows him to meditate on the violence of his past while lovingly providing jars of honey to his impossibly sweet landlord.  When that beloved landlord is targeted in an online phishing scam that drains all of her bank accounts, he suddenly comes out of retirement to avenge her against the anonymous crypto bros who’ve ruined her life.  When the crypto bros strike back by killing his bees, he goes ballistic, following their trail of misbegotten funds all the way up to the White House.  There, he finds a thinly veiled avatar for Hunter Biden (Josh Hutcherson), a drug addict playboy who uses his parents’ government connections to line his own pockets with the retirement funds of kindhearted American taxpayers.  The whole ordeal culminates with Statham effectively storming the capital, guns blazing as he takes down the wrongful president of the United States and their corrupt brat kid in a storm of bullets & bee puns.

The Beekeeper is delicious rubbish with rancid politics.  Its novelty as January action schlock is twofold.  Firstly, it leans hard into the beekeeping ephemera of its premise every chance it gets.  Between kills, Statham constantly mumbles about “protecting the hive” (over his individual desires) and “smoking out the hornets” (murdering the bad guys) who threaten that hive (the elderly Republican voters of America).  When asked what his deal is when meeting anyone new, he simply explains “I keep bees.”  Enemies quickly latch onto this internal logic, taunting him with inane phrases like “Where you at, Bee Boy?”, “You’ve been a busy bee,” and, inevitably, “To bee or not to bee?”  The other source of novelty is the film’s fixation on the politics of America’s great generational divide.  Statham self-anoints himself the hero of Boomers everywhere the same way Godzilla routinely emerges from the sea to save children from other fire-breathing monsters.  While the Hunter Biden avatar he brings to justice lives in a “Metaverse meth lab” world of espresso, skateboards, sushi, and transcendental mediation, Statham often saves the day with old-school tools like ratchet straps and pickup trucks.  It’s a clash between authentic living and modern ills, one where the bad guys barter for their lives with the promise of transferred NFTs.  It doesn’t take much for that disgust with newfangled youth culture to fully tip into a hateful Conservative power fantasy.  Its pro-cop, anti-FBI paranoia over Deep State governmental control is just as well suited to director David Ayer’s history of knuckle-dragging Conservative action cinema as it is to the cursed YouTube conspiracy videos that actually prey on the elderly citizens of America every day.  There’s nothing that overtly evil to overlook in the ideology behind Pig or John Wick, but those movies also don’t prominently feature a how-to guide titled Beekeeping for Beekeepers so, you know, choose your battles.

-Brandon Ledet

In the Candyman Sequels Atmosphere Isn’t Evoked, It’s Appropriated

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Director Bernard Rose started his career off strong with a couple of deeply creepy works that evoke most of their strange horror thrills from a mood & a tone rather than explicit bursts of violence. Rose’s debut film Paperhouse, which we recently covered as a Movie of the Month feature, was especially striking in this regard, chilling me to the bone with its sparse dreamworld sets & Hans Zimmer score, despite its story more or less framing the film as a kids’ fantasy piece. I was so struck by Paperhouse that I immediately sought out Rose’s most recognizable work, Candyman (1992), to see how effective that same chilling  atmosphere could be when applied to a legitimate horror film. Candyman did not disappoint in that regard, deploying a lot of Paperhouse‘s same spooky sounds (now provided by Phillip Glass) & dreamworld settings to a bloody supernatural slasher about a murdered slave’s ghost with a hook for a hand who exists in a mirror dimension and is comprised entirely of bees. It was fascinating, one of the stranger horror films I’ve seen all year. It was so fascinating, in fact, that I was compelled to watch both of the film’s less-than-stellar sequels over the course of that same weekend, despite their dire adherence to the law of diminishing returns. Without Rose’s guiding hand the Candyman sequels tended to rely more on shocking violence and false alarm jump scares than genuine mood to evoke their genre thrills, which I suppose is to be expected. A trend they followed that did surprise me, though, was the way they continued to attempt the specificity of Rose’s atmospheric horror not through imagination in the screenplay process, but through borrowing from cultures that already had a mood-evoking atmosphere ready to go.

In the case of the first sequel, I found the atmosphere appropriation to be hilarious, because it happened to be set amidst a culture I live with daily. Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh (1995) is set entirely in New Orleans, the French Quarter specifically, and it bends over backwards to remind you of that setting every chance it gets. References to gumbo, chicory, voodoo, and hurricanes color every line of dialogue that can make room for them. A Dr. John-esque radio DJ archetype narrates the film with local turns of phrase absolutely no one will identify with like, “The banks of the mighty Mississippi are ready to spill their seed” in reference to potential flooding, and (I swear this is true) taunts the titular killer with the line, “This goes out to the man with the hook. Man, chill. Relax. Have some gumbo or something.” The film also can’t resist staging its slashings during Mardi Gras, of course, providing a colorful backdrop of weirdos in costumes to heighten the atmosphere of its bee-filled mirror realm killer’s less than seemly past time. As I tried to explain in my review of Les Blank’s wonderful documentary Always for Pleasure, the spirit of Mardi Gras is an elusive beast, one that’s frustratingly difficult to accurately capture on film. Much to my surprise, Farewell to the Flesh didn’t do all that bad of a job capturing Carnival, at least not as bad as I’ve seen it done in the past. Yes, the whole thing feels very sound-stagey and the festivities are set mostly at night instead of the daylight, which are common mistakes, but the film at the very least captures some of the puke-splattered grotesqueness & disoriented debauchery of the world’s best holiday in fleeting moments, so I’m willing to give it a pass there. What really makes me laugh about its New Orleans themed cultural markers is in the non-Mardi Gras details. For instance, the protagonist & Candyman’s blonde victim du jour at one point visits a snowball stand (which are typically housed in dirt cheap roadside shacks for those unfamiliar) that’s located blocks away from the St. Louis Cathedral in one of the most expensive-looking buildings in the Quarter. And, of course, behind a fake wall in this snowball stand, its apparent billionaire proprietor stocks a bunch of voodoo paraphernalia and information on the Candyman (who is revealed to be a local) that conveniently expands his backstory between the increasingly violent kills. It’s this kind of reliance on and misunderstanding of local color that provides atmosphere in Bernard Rose’s absence in these damned things that make the Candyman sequels such a misguided hoot.

The problem gets much worse in Candyman 3: Day of the Dead (1999). As you can likely guess from the direct-to-DVD sequel’s not-so-coy title, the film is set during a Día de Muertos celebration in Los Angeles. Farewell to the Flesh made a conscious effort to tie the Candyman’s lore into New Orleans’s slave trade history to justify its appropriation of Mardi Gras atmosphere. Day of the Dead just makes shit up as it goes along. The young girl from the last scene of the second film ages decades in a four year span and funds her adult artist’s life by collecting the paintings Candyman made while a living slave (paintings that look suspiciously like large department store prints of family portraits) and leasing them to galleries. Moving the story from New Orleans to the L.A. arts scene does little for the story except to provide excuses for setting the murders against a Latino community’s Día de Muertos celebration. The film’s depiction of that celebration looks an awful lot like the sound stage Mardi Gras of Farewell to the Flesh, except with sugar skulls and piñatas substituted for that work’s parade floats & plastic beads. The only attempt to tie it into the Candyman’s established lore is when the holiday is explained to be valuable because it “reminds us that death is sweet,” which is meant to recall the ghost killer’s cryptic catchphrase “Sweets to the sweet.” Otherwise, Day of the Dead‘s titular setting is just a shameless pilfering of atmosphere that it couldn’t create on its own, so it outsourced it from a culture where its story didn’t naturally belong. The local color of Candyman 3 is more or less a background afterthought, setting the stage for the film’s true bread & butter: ludicrous jump scares & gratuitous gore. The film was good for some occasional laughs: the goth gang that kidnaps the pouty supermodel artist protagonist is guilty of some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen in a film; when slamming back tequila, a Hispanic man shouts, “Oooh chihuahua!”; there’s a sequence where a nameless art groupie slathers her tits with honey as foreplay and is immediately swarmed by the Candyman’s killer bee army. It’s a far cry from the atmospheric horror Rose established in the first film, though, and it’s weird to think they’re at all connected.

Not much stays consistent in the Candyman franchise except Candyman himself. Actor Tony Todd portrays the titular killer in each film (it must be bittersweet to headline your own franchise and then be required to let bees crawl in your mouth every damn movie) and although his backstory expands, he largely remains consistent. By the third film, the spooky sounds of Phillip Glass and stylistic supervision of writer Clive Barker were long gone from the series, given way to soft, bargain bin hip-hop & nu-metal slasher cheapness. The Candyman continues to gaslight his prime victims by framing them for  horrific murders and I guess you could thematically tie them together by saying each entry follows an academic type who’s punished for skeptically investigating cultural superstitions in urban POC communities. Otherwise, the setting-hopping plays like novelty backdrops for the film’s increasing indulgence in shameless gore and an easy distraction from its decreasing interest in atmosphere. Personally, I found the Mardi Gras set shenanigans of Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh to be a campy delight, especially as the film tried to cram as many New Orleans-specific references as it could in dialogue where it most definitely did not belong. You’d have to ask someone who regularly celebrates Día de Muertos in L.A. if Candyman 3′s mishandling of that cultural setting is just as hilariously off (I’d be willing to bet it is), but what’s vividly clear is that both sequels traded the genuine terror of its initial atmosphere, provided by Paperhouse’s Bernard Rose, for the novelty of cultural atmosphere shoehorned into places where its story didn’t really belong. According to the Candyman sequels, when atmosphere can’t be sincerely evoked, it’s best (or at least easiest) to just borrow it from elsewhere.

-Brandon Ledet