This hazy dead space between Christmas and the New Year finds the boundaries between this world and the next at its thinnest, even thinner than on All Hallows’ Eve. That’s why Yule season is the perfect time to read, watch, and share ghost stories. It’s a tradition most faithfully observed in annual retellings of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol and in annual British television broadcasts that never fully cross over to the US. While most households are streaming Hallmark & Lifetime Christmas schlock in their pajamas, we Yuleheads light a few candles and invite ghosts into our home through short story collections and the television set. It’s become my favorite Yuletide tradition in recent years, and it’s one more traditionally Christmasy than a lot of people realize. So, in order to help spread the undead Yule spirit before the holiday passes, here are a few short-form reviews of the ghost stories I’ve been chilling myself with this week.
The Uninvited (1944)
1944’s The Uninvited is the least Christmas-related film of this batch, but it’s ghostly & cozy enough to justify a Yule-season viewing. More of a cutesy radio play than a tale of the macabre, it tells the story of a weirdly chummy brother & sister who purchase a dilapidated seaside home that’s been left empty for years because it’s very obviously haunted. One local woman (a sheltered twentysomething who acts like a pouty teen) is especially distraught by the purchase, since her mother died there under mysterious circumstances that her new adoptive family must uncover before the ghost tosses her off the backyard cliff. The answer to that mystery mostly plays out like a dinner-theatre staging of Hitchcock’s Rebecca, but it’s worth sticking it out to see the film’s gorgeous, ethereal visualization of its cursed-real-estate ghost. While its Criterion Collection packaging presents it as a kindred spirit of much chillier, statelier 1960s ghost stories like The Haunting or The Innocents, The Uninvited is much gentler & sillier than that. It’s a mildly spooky amusement, which is perfect for this time of year.
Beyond Tomorrow (1940)
1940’s Beyond Tomorrow is even gentler & sillier than The Uninvited, with more overt ties to Christmastime besides its seasonal apparitions. Often retitled as Beyond Christmas, this public domain B-movie is a cozy, zero-conflict ghost story about how there are still a few sweetie pies left in The Big City: some living, some dead but lingering. It starts with a trio of Scrooges of varying grumpiness who are working late hours on Christmas Eve, when one decides to play a Christmas game. They each toss a leather wallet onto the New York City sidewalk with their address and a $10 bill inside to see if there’s anyone left in the city honest enough to return them. Two adorably naive youngsters return the wallets they find on the snowy pavement and the old-fogey roommates/business partners treat them to a Christmas meal as thanks. Then they collectively play matchmaker for the young couple, mostly from beyond the grave. The improbable trio of businessmen die in a plane crash at the end of the first act, then spend the rest of the movie acting as a ghostly Greek chorus. They do everything together in life, in death, and beyond.
Nothing especially dramatic happens in Beyond Tomorrow until the last-minute appearance of a sultry Big City temptress who threatens to break the couple up with her hedonistic ways. From there, it’s a minutes-long morality play that ends in gunshots and emergency surgery, but by then we’ve already seen three grumpy but kindly old men pass on to the next world without much of a fuss. Dying is just not that big of a deal. Mostly, the film is an excuse to hang around a Christmas-decorated luxury apartment with a small collection of ghosts in hopes that one of them might remind you of your own grandfather; or maybe one will remind you of a wealthy benefactor who baited you off the street with a prop wallet, whichever speaks closer to the life you’ve lived.
All of Us Strangers (2023)
2023’s All of Us Strangers is a much more dramatic Christmastime ghost story, although even its own sense of melancholy settles into an overall cozy mood. Andrew “Hot Priest” Scott stars as a lonely Londoner who’s living in a brand-new apartment building that otherwise appears to be entirely empty . . . except for the tempting presence of Paul Mescal as his more outwardly social but equally depressive downstairs neighbor. He staves off some of his loneliness by fucking that younger, livelier neighbor, but he mostly suppresses it by visiting his childhood home outside of the city, where he finds domestic comfort with the ghosts of his parents who died in a car crash when he was 12. Being older than the ghostly couple who raised him is already a surreal enough experience, but things get even more complicated when he comes out to them as a gay man, having to explain that it’s not really such a big deal anymore to Conservative suburbanites who died at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Then, the whole thing falls apart when he attempts to introduce them to his new situationship boyfriend, throwing his entire home/romantic afterlife balance into chaos.
Andrew Haigh’s low-key supernatural melodrama delicately touches on a lot of traditional ghost story beats in its grace notes, but it also loudly echoes how the isolation of modern urban living is a kind of ghost story that we’re all living every day. Our protagonist is a quiet, reserved bloke with no chance of making meaningful human connection from the voluntary prison cell of his one-bedroom apartment. All he can do is spin vintage New Romantics records and reminisce about the last few warm memories of his childhood, unable to fully enjoy the ways the world has gotten easier for gay men like him in the decades since. As a prestige drama for adults, it’s a little too Subtle, Restrained, and Nuanced for my personal tastes, but I still felt swept up in its melancholy Yuletide mood.
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
1996’s The Long Kiss Goodnight is much louder, flashier Christmas fare than All of Us Strangers or any other title on this list. It’s also not strictly a ghost story, so its inclusion here is kind of a cheat. Geena Davis stars as a small-town middle school teacher who suffers from amnesia, unable to recall her life before her cookie-cutter Norman Rockwell thirties in the suburbs. Her past comes back to haunt her, literally, after she appears in local TV news coverage of her town’s Christmas parade, where she’s featured waving from a float in an adorable Mrs. Claus outfit. A subsequent head injury in a boozy Christmas Eve car accident shakes her past self loose in her mind, prompting it to appear to her in a dream, cliffside, with her red curls cut & dyed into an icy Basic Instinct blonde bob. That eerie green-screen dream is a confrontation with the ghost of her former life – a supernatural showdown reflected in a magic dressing mirror that allows the two versions of herself to negotiate for control of her body. While they fight it out, snarling supercriminals from her violent past—having seen her on television—invade her suburban home, and she goes on an emergency road trip with a sleazy private detective (Samuel L. Jackson, in a Shaft-era blacksploitation wardrobe) to retake control of her life.
It turns out that the blonde-bob Geena Davis of the past was a lethally trained CIA agent whose murderous skills come back to the red-curls Geena Davis of the present one at a time, scaring her but also arming her to fight back against her attackers. During her road trip with her private dick, her trained-assassin ghost fully takes possession of her body, reclaims her preferred hairstyle, and sets up a precarious either/or decision where the Geena Davis of the future will either emerge a tough badass or an adoring mom. The Long Kiss Goodnight was written by Shane Black, who is very likely the pinnacle of Tarantino-era post-modern edgelords, which means it’s overflowing with sarcastic quips and emptied gun clips. It’s also very likely the pinnacle of Black’s work as a screenwriter, right down to his “written by” credit appearing over a pile of Christmas ornaments, celebrating his tendency to set hyperviolent scripts during the holiday. 90s action-schlock director Renny Harlan doesn’t entirely know what to do with Black’s excess of overwritten, flippant dialogue, but he’s at least smart enough to fill the screen with enough explosions that you hardly have time to notice. As a result, the movie is most recommendable to audiences who are frustrated that Die Hard isn’t as Christmasy of Christmastime action-movie programming as annually advertised, more so than it is recognizable to audiences looking for a Yuletide ghost story. There is a ghost story lurking in its DNA, though, because a Christmas traditionalist like Shane Black can’t help but acknowledge that essential but overlooked aspect of the holiday.
1. She is Conann – My favorite working director reshaped the Conan the Barbarian myth into a lesbian fantasia built on ego death and the cruelty of having to make art in a decaying world. No one else alive has dared to hijack the movie-making dream machine for their own perverse pleasure in the way Bertrand Mandico has. He’s perfectly attuned to the medium’s ability to evoke powerful ideas & feelings out of pure, hand-crafted imagery. There are allusions to luminary provocateurs herethat indicate Mandico thinks of himself as the modern equivalent of a Kenneth Anger or a Rainer Werner Fassbinder, but he’s actually our modern Méliès: an illusionist who’s pushing a still-young artform to its most fantastic extremes.
2. I Saw the TV Glow – The melancholy dark side of the Brigsby Bear moon. It’s impossible not to read this VHS-warped dysphoria horror as a cautionary tale for would-be trans people who are too afraid to come out to themselves, but it hits home for anyone who’s ever avoided authentically engaging with their life, body, and community by disappearing into niche, obsessive media consumption instead. It made me so sad that I felt physically ill, and then I immediately retreated into another movie screening so I wouldn’t think about it for too long.
3. Do Not Expect Too Much from the End of the World – A three-hour Romanian art film about labor exploitation in the global gig economy . . . One that communicates through vulgar pranks & memes, setting aside good taste & subtlety in favor of making its political points directly, without pretension.
4. Mars Express – A great sci-fi action blockbuster that happens to be animated & French. It’s just familiar enough to make you wonder why Hollywood studios aren’t regularly making large-scale sci-fi like Minority Report & Terminator 2 anymore, but then its third act shoots for the stars in a way that distinguishes it from its obvious reference points through sheer dazzlement.
5. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga – George Miller’s action blockbuster sequel gives me the RRRtingles more often than it gives me the Fury Road tingles, which is honestly just as good. It’s large-scale, uncanny CG mythmaking from one of our finest working madmen.
6. The People’s Joker– This fair-use Joker parody is the kind of direct, rawly honest outsider art that hosts a guided tour of the inner sanctums of its director’s brain. It’s not Vera Drew’s fault that the secret batcaves of her particular brain are wallpapered with copyrighted corporate media. We’ve all been mentally poisoned by pop culture iconography in that way, but most artists are too timid to engage with it in their work with this level of fearless vulnerability. It’s an impressively funny, personal comedy framed within the grease stain that Batman comics have left on modern culture.
7. Last Things – Billed as “an experimental film about evolution and extinction from the point of view of rocks,” the most exciting thing about this apocalyptic hybrid-doc is finally getting to experience what it’s like to be Björk for an hour: finding infinite significance, beauty, and terror in simple mineral formations.
8. Memoir of a Snail– A stop-motion animated dramedy about cruelty, loneliness, and mental illness from the director of Mary & Max: a stop-motion animated dramedy about cruelty, loneliness, and mental illness. There’s a tangible, darkly comic sense of despair to Adam Elliot’s work that’s matched only by fellow snail’s pace animator Don Hertzfeldt, except Elliot thankfully borrows a little Jean-Pierre Jeunet whimsy to help cut the tension.
9. Cuckoo– Tilman Singer’s teen-angst freakout escalates the verbally conveyed psychedelia of his debut Luzto something more traditionally thrilling. He genre-hops from demonic possession to creepy asylum horror but maintains the same screenwriting ambition of pulling brain-melting ideas out of simple, stripped-down tools. It’s also a major triumph for audiences who’ve been waiting around for Dan Stevens & Hunter Schaeffer to be handed meatier material; our time is now.
10. Love Lies Bleeding – I went into this muscular erotic thriller expecting to swoon for its synths, sex, and biceps. I’m surprised to say that I was also emotionally invested in its central romance beyond those surface aesthetics, which was not as much of a given. Rose Glass amplifies everything that was exciting about her debut Saint Maud to grander effect, once again getting away with one of my least favorite genre filmmaking tropes (contextualizing all supernatural fantasy elements as dreams & delusions instead of them “really” happening), somehow making it feel like audacity rather than cowardice. It’s ripped, roided, and noided.
11. The Substance – There was a movie called Mektoub, My Love: Intermezzo at Cannes a few years ago that got unanimously rotten reviews complaining that it’s just four relentless hours of young people’s gyrating butts. It never got US distribution, but Coralie Fargeat’s satirical body-horror comedy is exactly what I imagined it looked like, except now with positive reviews and surrealistic gore effects from Screaming Mad George.
12. Aishiteru! (Safe Word) – A semi-pink mockumentary about a pro-wrestling pop idol who gets recruited as a dominatrix because she can’t stop playing heel. Whatever dramatic authenticity is lost in its sub-professional production values is made up for in its intense fixations on sexual power dynamics & subcultural detail. If you have any entry-level interest in wrestling, pop, or kink, this is a thrilling, endearing journey through their backrooms & dungeons.
13. Kinds of Kindness – The sinister absurdism of this New Orleans-set anthology drama convinced me that Yorgos Lanthimos would be just as effective as a playwright as he is as a filmmaker, which I can’t believe never occurred to me before. More urgently, a lot of it was shot in the immediate area where I work & live, which was uncomfortable because I don’t want any of the creeps he’s dreamed up anywhere near me.
14. A Different Man – Aaron Schimberg ventures further into the ethical & psychological labyrinth of rethinking onscreen disfigurement & disability representation that he first stepped into with Chained for Life, this time with less third-act abstraction. Sebastian Stan does incredible work building complex layers in the lead role until Adam Pearson completely wrecks the whole thing in the funniest way possible. It’s a great dark comedy about the tensions between internal & external identity.
15. The Feeling that the Time for Doing Something Has Passed – Joanna Arnow delivers the driest humor you’ll find outside a Roy Andersson film, which is funny to say about an autofictional BDSM romcom where no single scene lasts longer than a minute.
16. Anora– This sex-work Cinderella story is the feel-good sweet counterbalance to the feel-bad sour notes of Sean Baker’s Red Rocket. Both films are equally funny & frantic, but Baker has clearly decided he wants audiences to love him again after his brief heel era, and it’s impressive to see him face-turn to this opposite tonal extreme of his work without losing his voice.
17. The Beast – A sci-fi fantasy horror about falling for the same entitled fuckboy over & over again in each of your past & future lives, and all that changes is the temporal context in which he sucks. It’s one of those purposefully cold, inscrutable Euro provocations that you’re not sure if you’re supposed to take entirely seriously, until director Bertrand Bonello tips his hand a little by making you watch pop-up ad clips from Trash Humpers in a brilliant throwaway gag.
18. Nosferatu – Robert Eggers has softened his alienating approach to narrative structure so that he can escalate his exquisite, traditionalist images to a grander, major-studio scale. As a result, this cracked costume drama doesn’t add much to the ongoing ritual of restaging Dracula (except for accidentally making the argument that Coppola’s version is the best to date). It’s a gorgeous, heinous nightmare in pure visual terms, though, which obviously goes a long way in a largely visual medium.
19. Longlegs – This supernatural serial killer thriller feels convincingly Evil and gives Nicolas Cage free rein to be erratically Intense. Call me a simple man, but that’s more than enough for me. The Oz Perkins directorial project continues an upward trend.
20. In a Violent Nature – A corny 80s bodycount slasher shot & edited with modern slow-cinema arthouse distancing. It’s very funny in how it gives horror-convention gorehounds exactly what they want (the most annoying idiot youths to ever disgrace the screen being gruesomely dismembered) while also being stubbornly withholding (shooting the stillness of the woods with an Apichatpongian sense of patience).
Welcome to The Not-So-New 52, your digital Swampflix comic book (adaptation) newsstand! Starting in 2007, DC Comics and Warner Premiere entered the direct-to-home-video market with animated features, mostly in the form of adaptations of well-received event comics or notable arcs. This Swampflix feature takes its name from the 2011 DC relaunch event “The New 52,” and since there are (roughly) fifty-two of these animated features as of the start of 2024, Boomeris watching them in order from the beginning with weekly reviews of each. So, get out your longboxes and mylar sleeves and get ready for weekly doses of grousing, praise, befuddlement, recommendations, and occasional onomatopoeia as we get animated for over fifteen years of not-so-new comic cartoons.
I completely forgot that Justice League: Warworld existed, despite the fact that, according to my viewing history on the app formerly known as HBO, I sat through it at some point in the year since its release (or, more likely, I put it on while I was doing housework and then took a nap). Don’t let that fool you, though, as it’s not my resentment about realizing that there was still yet another one of these movies before the coming “crisis” that led to the low score for this one; it’s one of the most forgettable, despite being one of the more original of these flicks.
We open in the Old West, where a lady gunslinger arrives in a town that has barricaded its funds inside the town bank, to protect it from an outlaw Jonah Hex and his crew, who claim that they are owed their “protection interest” by the miners who reside within. The woman is more trusting of the townsfolks’ representative, Bartholomew “Bat” Lash. She ends up defending the town from the bandits, including derailing a train that was sent barreling toward the town’s fortifications. When Hex kills Lash, she almost beats the former to death, before riding off into the dawn, her name still unknown. From there, we find ourselves on the world of Skartaris, a very Edgar Rice Burroughs sword-and-sorcery jungle planet, where a man named Warlord captures a mercenary sent by his enemy, the dark wizard Deimos. The mercenary offers to reveal Deimos’s hideout to Warlord, but the latter man insists that the mercenary accompany them, and once Deimos is dead, he will reward the mercenary with his freedom and his weight in gold. Warlord’s little Masters of the Universe-style team gets picked off one by one until only he and the mercenary are the only ones to arrive in Deimos’s loot cave, where they also find a familiar woman chained to his throne. They ultimately manage to kill Deimos, and the mercenary and the now-freed warrior woman share a look of recognition as a portal opens, and they enter it. From here, we find ourselves in what is, for all intents and purposes, a pastiche of the Twilight Zone classic “Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?”, where an “Agent Kent” meets his new partner, King Faraday, at a diner where a group of bus travelers have gathered after seeing a supposed UFO crash. They’re assisted by highway patrolman Bruce Wayne, and among the diner patrons is a woman who identifies herself as “Ms. Prince.” Of course, nothing is what it seems.
Warworld really suffers from being viewed so closely after I marathoned all of the DC Showcase Shorts. Although they weren’t all perfect, most of them were very effective as exactly the kind of vignettes that this film is seeking to achieve (albeit while making them fictional “mindscapes” in which our heroes are trapped), and failing. The western segment fails to achieve the atmosphere of the Jonah Hex short, and is a fairly rote “protect the townspeople” narrative that offers no genuine excitement. The “savage land” section is a pale imitation of the Kamandi short, and there’s nothing all that interesting about “What if Batman was a mercenary on a strange world?,” since it’s just another retread of tropes you’ve seen done before, and better. The black & white alien paranoia bit is the most intriguing experiment that the film does, and it turns into a pretty rote retreading of all the tropes associated with that genre before speeding right past it into the realization on the part of Clark, Bruce, and Diana that they’ve been forced to play out scenarios by an alien known as Mongul, who has harnessed the psychic powers of Martian Manhunter to do so. The three manage to escape from their psychic prisons, get out into the large “war world” planet-killing ship, and blow it up, before being saved by an unknown woman who tells them that they will be needed “for the coming crisis,” and then it’s credits time.
I spent most of the movie assuming that the Wonder Woman whom we were following was a version of the character that we had not yet seen, since the only Wonder Woman appearance prior to this in this new “Tomorrowverse” sub-franchise was the one from the alternate dimension in the Justice Society movie; as a result, I kept asking why I was supposed to care about this character when we had never seen her before. As it turns out, this is that Wonder Woman, which is revealed when she recognizes Superman as Clark, but as a younger version of him than the man she knows. It’s needlessly complicated, and the narrative decisions on display only make sense when looking at this not as a film unto itself, but as a placeholder and teaser for the upcoming Crisis film. It’s not interesting, it’s not exciting, it’s not fun, and exists solely for the least interesting reason for any piece of art to exist: filler sequel bait.
There are currently 8,867 films on my Letterboxd watchlist, and roughly 8,000 of them will remain unwatched for all eternity. Every time a movie looks interesting to me, I toss it into the bottomless watchpit, with no concrete plans to dig it up at any particular time. Either it’ll tumble out of the Shuffle button at the exact right moment or it will rot there forever, and I think that’s beautiful. What I’m much more dutiful about it is my physical media watchpile, which fits neatly into one humble box besides my television that I’m not “allowed” to let overfill before bringing home more discs. Having a physical Blu-ray or DVD in my home is a guarantee that a movie will be watched—soon!—if not only because it then enables me to buy more Blu-rays & DVDs. The watchbox has been getting a little tight lately, though, so it’s time to clear out a few lingering titles with some short-form reviews.
I’ve been having especially good luck finding used martial-arts DVDs at local thrift stores this year, so that feels like as good of a category to start this KonMari process with as any. Listed & reviewed below are four kung fu action flicks I purchased on used DVDs at two local Goodwill stores in 2024 (the one on Tulane Ave in MidCity and the new outlet “bins” location in New Orleans East, in case you’re on the hunt). They all roughly follow the same story template in which a young fighter is violently wronged, trains for violent revenge, and then takes that revenge against his oppressors in violent spectacle. Their individual emphases on the wronging, the training, and the avenging vary from film to film, though, as does their entertainment value as vintage martial-arts relics.
The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978)
By far, the best of this batch is the Shaw Brothers classic The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, which mostly focuses on the training aspect of the kung-fu story template. While most kung-fu revengers include a martial-arts training montage in which a young fighter is taught fighting skills & Buddhist philosophy in a temple of violence, The 36th Chamber expands that 2nd-act rebirth to stretch over the majority of its runtime. Gordon Liu plays a young student whose schoolmates & teacher are slaughtered by a fascistic government who sees them as a rebellious threat. He retreats to a Shaolin temple to learn how to fight back against those government brutes and is reluctantly trained by the monks who live there to be a world-class combatant. Most of the film features Liu solving physically challenging puzzles while older monks nod in silent approval, and he grows frustrated to be learning discipline rather than vengeance. His impatience eventually fades as he matures into becoming a deadly weapon of great wisdom, which is a gift he then vows to spread to the common man outside the temple so they can fight their oppressors in great numbers instead of as individual rebels.
I watched The 36th Chamber of Shaolin in its ideal format: a thrifted Dragon Dynasty-label DVD with a 10min RZA interview reminiscing about marathoning Golden Age martial-arts & porno schlock as a kid in late-70s NYC. The film would be considered a classic of Hong Kong action cinema without RZA’s help, but his grindhouse cinephilia helped sew its name into the fabric of American culture, so that every time you hear the words “36th Chamber”, “Shaolin” or “Master Killer” (the film’s alternate American title), a Wu-Tang Clan beat automatically plays in your head. It’s a little silly to include a 2min “Wu-Tang concert video” as an additional special feature, but there’s still some thematic overlap there in how the dozen people performing on stage at once have found strength in numbers that they wouldn’t wield as individual rappers. In his interview, RZA attempts to contextualize why Hong Kong martial-arts films might have resonated so deeply with him as a young Black youth in America, citing “the underdog thing,” “the brotherhood thing,” and “the escapism” as resonant themes. The truth is he more likely cited this classic so often in Wu-Tang lyrics simply because it looked & sounded cool. Either way, he’s right.
The Iron Monkey (1977)
The title & thrills of the 1977 martial-arts revenger The Iron Monkey are so much more generic & forgettable than 36th Chamber‘s that it’s usually only brought up as a footnote to a much more popular 1993 film of the same name, to which it has no narrative relation. Chen Kuan-tai directs and stars as a frivolous, drunken gambler with a rebel father who is—you guessed it—assassinated by a fascist government. He cleans up his act at a Shaolin temple and trains for revenge, which he eventually gets hands-on against the General that killed his father at the movie’s climax. Given the stark-white backdrop of its pop-art opening credits and its genre-dutiful training sequences you might suspect that it was a cheap knockoff of The 36th Chamber . . . until you realize that it was released an entire year earlier.
The Iron Monkey is a standard-issue kung-fu revenger with nothing especially noteworthy about it except that the violence occasionally goes way overboard, especially in the opening sequence where an actual monkey & eagle are forced to fight as symbols of the “Monkey Fist” vs. “Eagle Claw” combat choreography of its central hero & villain. There’s also a scene where the bad guys show they mean business by choking a child to death, which makes for two pretty alarming choices on when to color outside the lines. My used DVD copy was a digital scan of a dubbed & scratched film print, which feels indicative of its significance in the larger kung-fu landscape. I couldn’t tell if the off-screen impact sounds of punches & kicks that are heard but not seen were added by an American distributor hoping to keep the audience’s pulse up or were included in the original mix as a cost-cutting ploy, but the choice was something I had never encountered in a movie before. I’d rather indulge in that kind of novelty than watching a stressed-out monkey fight an eagle for my entertainment.
Return of the Tiger (1977)
Just because a martial arts film is cheap doesn’t mean it’s worthless. I was much more enthused by the Brucesploitation novelty Return of Tiger, which starred “Bruce Li” as yet another wronged son avenging the murder of his father. Supposedly a sequel to a film called Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger (which starred Li as an entirely different character), Return of the Tiger skips the hero’s training montage to instead detail the training of his enemies. Bruce Li and “special guest star” Angela Mao show up ready to do battle, but their Enemy No. 1 (Paul L. Smith, Altman’s Bluto) is continuously training a kung-fu army of underlings to protect his empire. As a result, the film has incredibly athletic martial arts sequences, but most of them are confined to the relatively drab setting of an Olympic training gym — including Li’s intro in the music video style opening credits. Mao’s intro is also literally gymnastic, in that she initially fights off the gang leader’s nameless goons while jumping on a trampoline and launching herself off a balance beam. As her special credit suggests, she steals the show.
While Return of the Tiger follows a familiar wronging-training-avenging story template, it does distinguish itself from the other films on this list in its contemporary setting. The main Bad Guy in the film is not some empirical warlord of the 18th Century; he’s a heroin dealer who runs a shipyard. My English-dub DVD copy (“digitally mastered” by the fine folks at Reel Entertainment in Digital, which cannot be a real company) not only overdubs the dialogue but also replaces the soundtrack with incredibly baffling song choices, including a nightclub scene set to Wild Cherry’s “Play that Funky Music” while a lounge singer mouths lyrics to an entirely different song. It’s a nice change of setting for the genre, and the fights staged there are accomplished in their precision & brutality.
The One-Armed Swordsman (1967)
The first-act wronging of The One-Armed Swordsman is two-fold, which doubles the amount of training sequences the film gets to indulge in. First, a young child watches his father get slaughtered (go figure), then is raised by a kung-fu master to become the formidable Hong Kong action hero Jimmy Wang. Only, the fellow students at his temple are jealous of his skills and spiteful of having to be equals with the son of a (dead) servant, so in an overboard schoolyard bullying incident they cut off his sword-carrying arm. Wang survives, improbably, and then trains again to re-learn how to fight with just one arm before local bandits get out of hand and harm untrained villagers who need protection. Despite this doubling down on its training-for-revenge sequences, much of the runtime involves debates between our titular hero and his wife about whether he should relearn his fighting skills at all, since it’s a like he’s inviting violence into the family home — like how gun owners are statistically more likely to be killed by guns. The title & premise make it sound like a gimmicky wuxia novelty, but in practice it’s a surprisingly classy drama set inside of a series of illustrated postcards . . . with some occasional swordfight gore.
What I mostly learned from this loose group of titles is that the Dragon Dynasty-label DVDs of classic Shaw Brother titles are a sign of quality & class, and they’re worth picking up any time you stumble across one at a Goodwill. The best special feature included on this particular disc was a short career-retrospective documentary on its director, Chang Cheh, which added at least a dozen titles to my ever-expanding Letterboxd watchlist. I’ll likely never get to them all unless they fall into my lap as used media, where tangibility means accountability and quality varies wildly.
Welcome to The Not-So-New 52, your digital Swampflix comic book (adaptation) newsstand! Starting in 2007, DC Comics and Warner Premiere entered the direct-to-home-video market with animated features, mostly in the form of adaptations of well-received event comics or notable arcs. This Swampflix feature takes its name from the 2011 DC relaunch event “The New 52,” and since there are (roughly) fifty-two of these animated features as of the start of 2024, Boomeris watching them in order from the beginning with weekly reviews of each. So, get out your longboxes and mylar sleeves and get ready for weekly doses of grousing, praise, befuddlement, recommendations, and occasional onomatopoeia as we get animated for over fifteen years of not-so-new comic cartoons.
At long last, we have reached the final Batman film in this long saga. I don’t expect that this will be the last time we talk about him, as I have no doubt that he’ll play a part in the upcoming massive Crisis on Infinite Earths triple feature (pray for me), but this is the last time that it’s his name in the title, and that’s something to celebrate. This is another one of those Elseworlds style flicks—what if Batman, but H.P. Lovecraft? The answer is another adaptation of a comic by Mike Mignola, whose previous Gotham by Gaslight was adapted into a thoroughly mediocre animated feature that sanded off all of the grit from Mignola’s art. Will this one fare better?
This time, it’s the 1920s, and Gotham City’s most beloved orphan, Bruce Wayne (David Giuntoli), has spent the last two decades traveling hither and yon in the wake of his parents’ deaths. In Antarctica, he and his three assistants—Dick Grayson (Jason Marsden), Santay Tawde (Karan Brar), and Kai Li Cain (Tati Gabrielle)—are searching for the lost Cobblepot Expedition. They encounter undead members of the crew and manage to subdue one, named Grendon (David Dastmalchian), and return with him to Gotham City, not realizing that he was already infected by parasites from the otherworldly creature he was attempting to free from the ice when Wayne et al arrived. Thus begins the unraveling of a tangled web of interconnections between the founding families of Gotham and the Cult of Ghul that worships the elder, eldritch god Iog-Sotha, and need only the Testament of Ghul to allow him to cross the threshold into our world and do whatever it is that Cthulhu entities do.
In addition to the above-mentioned group of onetime Robins whom Bruce collected on his voyages, there are, of course, other members of the same old usual suspects here. The “Cult of Ghul” tells you pretty early on that Ra’s and Talia are going to pop up and cause trouble at some point. Kirk Langstrom, who is normally a tragic villain known as the “Man-Bat,” is referred to as “the bat man of Crime Alley” before our title character really becomes a known element in the city. Here, instead of being transformed into a giant batlike man, he’s a mad scientist whose research into bats has led him to believe that they are speaking to him, a trait we ultimately learn he shares in common with Bruce. Jason Blood is also here, sometimes in his demon form as Etrigan, and it is he who starts Bruce on his road to learning the true horrors which lie beneath the surface of the rational world. Oliver Queen (Christopher Gorham) is made a Gotham resident here and the Queens are established as one of the founding families of the city, with OIiver using his family’s wealth to fund a one-man war on supernatural evil, while playacting as a booze-smuggling lush to keep his activities under wraps. There’s no Joker or Catwoman, but Harvey Dent is here reimagined as a candidate for mayor who becomes infected on one side of his body with a horrible rash that eventually breaks out in bumps and tumors which then spread onto a nearby wall to create a portal to Iog-Sotha’s realm. It sounds gross, and it is, but it also doesn’t really hold a candle to how revolting and frightening the demons in Justice League Dark and JLvTT were.
This is one of the film’s bigger weaknesses: the inability for this animation to really convey the horror of the mythos that it’s adapting. It disgusts, but it never harrows. One could unironically call it the comic book-ification of Lovecraftian horror, except that actual comic book adaptations of that material often rise from actual artistic interest and which result in some truly glorious art, but not art that easily translates to the moving image, even if what we’re talking about is being “drawn” in both artforms. I’ll admit that it was an inspired choice to bring in Jeffrey Combs(!) to voice Kirk Langstrom via his apocalyptic log, but that desire to make connections to previous Lovecraft adaptations is the only real time that this feels like it’s trying. Everything that makes it special comes from the source material, which, like Gotham By Gaslight before it, means that this is just a diminished version of what it’s supposed to adapt, with no real improvements. It’s not a bad movie, but there’s something really lacking that would have pushed it into being something special. I’d rank it only slightly above average if for no other reason than that we get to see Bruce fully commit to turning into an eldritch bat monster in order to save the day. That’s got to be worth something, right?
Keeping up with Quentin Dupieux is hard work, even as a fan. The prankster Frenchman’s filmography is as prolific as it is silly, as he’s only surpassed in his routine creative output by Matt “The Madman” Farley. Every time I review “the new Dupieux” for this site, he’s already released at least two more recent films on the Euro festival circuit, which will inevitably be followed by yet another new Dupieux before those achieve US distro. So, while I am here to write about the two “new” Quentin Dupieux movies that arrived in America this year, I also have to acknowledge that his actual-latest film, The Second Act, has already premiered at Cannes and is still pending US release. That’s three new features total since I reviewed Smoking Causes Coughing at last year’s Overlook Film Fest (and three more films than most aspiring directors will get to release in their lifetime). The man is a machine that produces silly comedies at an alarming rate, like that haywire conveyor belt of chocolate treats that tormented Lucille Ball. This must be how more serious critics feel about Hong Sang-soo.
The best of this year’s silly treats was the semi-biographical comedy Daaaaaalí!, in which Dupieux pays flippant homage to master surrealist Salvador Dalí. The absurdly elongated title is in reference to how the multiple actors who portray Daaaaaalí pronounce their own name, often while bragging in third-person. Dupieux is unafraid to poke fun at his artist-subject’s ludicrous ego and public misbehavior, likely because his own creative debt and reverence for Dalí is obvious to the point of not needing to be stated aloud. The matter-of-fact surrealism of Dupieux’s humor already amounts to a career-long tribute to Dalí in its own way, so much so that the director finds it difficult to complete a film about the much more famous artist without feeling like a failure. Daaaaaalí! is a loopy, prankish comedy about the impossibility of making a worthy, satisfying movie about Salvador Dalí. Dupieux’s onscreen avatar is a young journalist who repeatedly attempts to film a full-length interview with Dalí but can never quite pull the fluff-piece documentary together, mostly due to whimsical sabotage from her subject. Instead, Dupieux sends her down a labyrinth of circular-logic dreams, time-jumps, and actor swaps that make no linear narrative sense, attempting to match the audience-trolling humor of Dalí’s work at large while staging living-tableau recreations of specific Dalí paintings. That way, Dupieux can’t disappoint himself in his homage to a personal, professional hero, since he openly admits defeat before the project starts in earnest. With Daaaaaalí!, Dupieux combines the professional self-parody of Deerskin and the anything-goes-at-any-moment sketch comedy of Smoking Causes Coughing into a single, silly picture – finding a delightfully uneasy middle ground between his two career-best titles to date (assuming he hasn’t released an even better one since I started typing this paragraph).
Something I’ve noticed about Dupieux’s recent output is that his increasingly silly ideas for movies are outpacing his already hectic production schedule, so that recent works like Daaaaaalí! and Smoking Causes Coughing play more like sketch comedy revues than single-concept feature films. That’s not the case with his recent title Yannick, though, which is an unusually focused & abrasive effort from the goofball auteur. An all-in-one-night black comedy about a low-rent theatrical production that’s threatened at gunpoint by an audience member who doesn’t appreciate the show, Yannick finds Dupiuex holding his audience hostage and heckling us about our own grossest impulses in a single-location limbo. The most interesting angle on it is trying to figure out if Dupieux considers himself one of us or one of the suffering artists who find it impossible to please us, mocking dissenters in his audience for making their personal criticisms loudly, publicly known to the detriment of fellow theatregoers who are quietly enjoying themselves. There is some formal playfulness in how he shoots the players from the audience and the audience from the stage like two warring sides of a never-ending conflict, pontificating on how even a successful stage play is already a kind of hostage situation in reverse. It’s just unclear whether his portrayal of the play’s titular heckler as a braying jackass is an insult to the audience’s intelligence or if he’s supposed to be a common-denominator mouthpiece voicing populist derision against needlessly pretentious, fussy art, which is something Dupieux might identify with as a man who’s dedicated his life’s work to being as silly as possible at all times.
If you’ve gotten used to Dupieux’s rapid-fire delivery of absurdly silly ideas in movies like Daaaaaalí!, the feature-length, single-idea fixation of Yannick can be a little tiresome, even at a mere 67 minutes of runtime. It’s still interesting to decipher within the larger context of Dupieux’s career as a public figure, which is always what happens when you watch too many movies from a single director. Out of context, Daaaaaalí! is likely still entertaining as a remarkably silly movie about a remarkably silly art-world icon, but the larger project of Dupieux’s career leads us to wonder where the director sees himself in the onscreen relationship between portraitist and subject. That goes doubly for Yannick, where the most interesting piece of the puzzle is deciphering what our auteur du jour is attempting to communicate about the relationship between artist and audience. It’s the same way that fellow Quentin’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is about Tarantino’s relationship with his industry, or the same way that every Matt Farley movie is now about the greater Matt Farley project, most recently exemplified in the self-parodic Local Legends: Bloodbath. To be a Quentin Dupiuex fan is to be someone who routinely watches two or three of the silliest movies released all year in a single sitting and puzzling through what they’re saying about Art and The Artist. Dupieux used to make movies like the killer-car-tire horror comedy Rubber about how nothing in life has any meaning or reason behind it; now he makes movies about what believing & embodying that ethos has done to his art and to the artist behind it. I’m assuming he doesn’t have a solid answer to that personal quandary yet, since he he’s been making a lot of them.
Swampflix’s official coverage of the best films of 2024 won’t start until January 2025, but list-making season is already in full swing elsewhere. General consensus on the best films of the year is starting to take shape as regional film critic associations are publishing their collective Best of the Year lists, and I’m proud to say I was once again able to take a small part in that annual ritual. I voted in the Southeastern Film Critics Association poll for the best films of 2024, representing a consensus opinion among 89 critics across nine states in the American South. Winners were announced this morning, and it’s a pretty solid list. At the very least, it’s cool to see Sean Baker recognized for his latest in a long line of high-energy, high-empathy sex industry dramas, Anora, and to see the objectively best score of the year win its respective category: Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross’s music for Luca Guadagnino’s erotic tennis thriller Challengers. I’m also proud to have helped a movie as absurdly grotesque as Coralie Fargeat’s The Substance get rightfully highlighted as one of the year’s major works.
The biggest story of last year’s SEFCA list was the total dominance of Christopher Nolan’s historical drama Oppenheimer, which then went on to sweep The Oscars as well, with seven wins out of thirteen nominations. This year, there’s no clear dominant winner, as the majority of the prizes are evenly split among Anora, Conclave, and The Brutalist. That sounds like a robust crop of movies to me. To quote SEFCA President Scott Phillips in today’s press release, “Every year we hear from the naysaying sectors of the industry that it wasn’t a very good year for film. This slate of winners easily disproves that statement for 2024. Between theatrical distribution and streaming, releases can be a bit scattered and hard to find, but if you take the time to find the better films of 2024, they form a potent lineup. We hope that film fans out there can use our Top 10 list to catch up on some of the best that 2024 had to offer.”
It took a while to arrive, but 2024 was finally Sebastian Stan’s year. Ever since the strikingly hunky actor found early fame in the wide-appeal franchises Gossip Girl and The MCU, he’s been attempting to pull off the Robert Pattinson trick of convincing cinephilic snobs that he’s more than just a handsome face. Stan has been deliberately eroding his pretty-boy persona by taking on increasingly odd, unlikeable roles in titles like I, Tonya, Fresh, and The Bronze, but audiences have yet to take him seriously by any other name than Bucky Barnes. It’s clear to me that 2024 was the critical breakthrough in that effort, with Stan earning many impassioned accolades for his two most recent film roles in The Apprentice and A Different Man. Weirdly, that career boost may have been indirectly assisted by the recent re-election of Donald Trump, whom Stan portrays as a young man in The Apprentice. Or it was at least assisted by his fellow actors’ cowardice on the subject of Trump, since Stan vented that he was invited to participate in Variety‘s annual “Actors on Actors” interview series, but nothing ever came of it because no actor (or at least no actor’s publicist) dared to discuss Trump or the election on the record. This news item led to a fresh new wave of critics praising Stan’s fully committed portrayal of the president-elect as a young ghoul in training, reinvigorating discussion of a film that had for the most part faded into the Awards Season background since it premiered at Cannes. It’s not all just empty political posturing, either; he deserves the praise.
In The Apprentice, Iranian-Danish director Ali Abbasi (Border, Holy Spider) attempts to diagnose the illness at the heart of contemporary American politics by pinpointing the exact moment when Donald Trump transformed from human being to monstrous caricature. Trump is already a shit-heel capitalist at the start of the film, when Sebastian Stan is introduced as a racist landlord collecting rent payments & shutting out Black tenants in 1970s New York City. The punk, disco, and street noise of the era appear to rattle young Donny just as much as his legal troubles and his father’s withheld affections. Then, the figure of Roy Cohn appears from across a crowded barroom, played like a beckoning Count Dracula by Succession star Jeremy Strong. In the first third of the film, Strong’s verbal & physical mannerisms are more closely aligned with the SNL-parody version of Trump we’re all used to, and the acting challenge of the piece is for Stan to gradually grow into the role as he learns from his vampiric mentor. His transformation from status-obsessed dork to the most powerful carnival conman in America is physically manifested in peculiar contortions of the mouth and verbal jabs of one-upmanship against his own previous sentences while bragging to the press, and he learned it all from watching Cohn do the same. What Abbasi & Stan most clearly understand about Trump is how unfortunate it is that he’s a funny guy in addition to being an evil one, so that The Apprentice ends up becoming a kind of It’s Always Sunny-style dirtbag sitcom featuring talented actors playing despicable ghouls. It’s not especially insightful as a political text, but it is impressive as an acting showcase, which is exactly what Sebastian Stan needed to break through into critical legitimacy.
The only hindrance to The Apprentice announcing Sebastian Stan’s arrival as a formidable actor is that he only gives the second best performance in his own movie, as he’s often outshone by Jeremy Strong’s scenes-stealing performance as Roy Cohn. Funnily enough, that actor-vs-actor tension is the exact conflict that torments Stan’s lead character in his actual-best performance of the year. In A Different Man, director Aaron Schimberg ventures further into the ethical & psychological labyrinth of rethinking onscreen disfigurement & disability representation that he first stepped into with Chained for Life, this time with less third-act abstraction. Sebastian Stan does incredible work building complex layers in the lead role as a failed actor with neurofibromatosis, which hides his face under a mountainous mask of noncancerous tumors. After an experimental drug chemically removes those tumors in a miraculous transformation that reveals Stan’s Hollywood Handsome face, he remains a failed actor, finding that his lack of confidence & charisma had little to do with his disfiguring medical condition. Then enters Adam Pearson (Chained for Life, Under the Skin) as the world’s most affable guy, who charms every room he walks into despite the fact that his own neurofibromatosis remains untreated. Pearson is hilarious as the carefree bloke who completely wrecks Stan’s entire life simply by being pleasant company, but it’s Stan’s performance that affords the movie most of its emotional complexity. It’s impressive to watch him intentionally play someone who is disastrously bad at acting in a movie where we can all clearly tell he’s a great actor, maybe even with potential to become one of our best.
A Different Man is a great, darkly funny comedy about the tensions between internal & external identity, teased out through the pronounced artifice of stage theatre. By the time Stan is wearing a 3D rendering of his former disfigurement as a mask while playing a fictionalized version of himself on-stage, it’s clear that Schimberg has created something incredibly complex here, and he found an actor who was up for the task. A Different Man is a much smaller, quieter film than The Apprentice, which made enough of a stir to be publicly threatened with lawsuits by its subject’s legal team the week of its premiere. That threat certainly contributed to the good will behind critics’ defense of Stan’s right to discuss his craft in portraying Trump onscreen, but A Different Man is still the title of the pair that’s more likely to land on hipper publications’ Best of the Year lists. The Apprentice is, at heart, a kind of phony drama that excels solely as an acting showcase for its two leads, who make great use of the opportunity; it’s Awards Season fluff. By contrast, A Different Man is the real deal; it’s cinema. In combination, they suggest that Sebastian Stan has finally achieved the creative success he’s been seeking as an actor ever since he first achieved financial success as a handsome face. Let’s hope all these critical accolades only embolden him to get weirder & more off-putting, since he’s such a joy to watch in that mode.
Welcome to The Not-So-New 52, your digital Swampflix comic book (adaptation) newsstand! Starting in 2007, DC Comics and Warner Premiere entered the direct-to-home-video market with animated features, mostly in the form of adaptations of well-received event comics or notable arcs. This Swampflix feature takes its name from the 2011 DC relaunch event “The New 52,” and since there are (roughly) fifty-two of these animated features as of the start of 2024, Boomeris watching them in order from the beginning with weekly reviews of each. So, get out your longboxes and mylar sleeves and get ready for weekly doses of grousing, praise, befuddlement, recommendations, and occasional onomatopoeia as we get animated for over fifteen years of not-so-new comic cartoons.
When I first started this project, I knew that I would eventually have to watch these shorts in addition to the features in order to hit that magic number, 52. At that time, the streaming service formerly known as HBO Max still hosted just about every DC project ever made, as a result of Warner Bros. folding the DC Universe service into HBO. All of these shorts were available there, until they were slowly offboarded from the service —never forget what they, and by “they” I mean David Zaslav, took from you. Most of these were only released as special additions to the DVDs of the feature films, which meant that tracking them all down proved no small feat. Ironically, although I have no issue with the wider internet at large knowing that I will soon have watched all of these films, I’m not exactly hot to expose this side of myself to the ubercool clerks at my local video rental. Somehow, we got there.
And another perfect little Halloween watch! This one opens in 1969 with a clear invocation of Texas Chain Saw Massacre as a group of hippies and their newest friend, a young blonde woman named Marcie (Natalie Lander) travel west across a desert in a VW van. The quartet of groovy folks—Dee Dee, Violet, Harry, and Ted—praise her for seeing through the scam of “society” and having escaped suburbia and her controlling parents, and, as they cross the border into California, hype up the guru they are going to see. Upon arrival to a run-down mansion, Marcie takes a moment to smoke a cigarette and clear her head and finds the details of the decaying decadence creepy: a statue in the form of the goat god Pan stands atop a run-down fountain that’s full of gross algae and dead fish, that sort of thing. It’s here that she’s startled by the presence of a suited man with an out-of-date hat, who introduces himself as the Phantom Stranger (Peter Serafinowicz) and urges her to leave this place before it’s too late. She laughs him off and enters the house, where she meets the guru, Seth (Michael Rosenbaum). As they have a dance party, Seth anoints each of his disciples with wine and then kisses them, his ouroboros pendant glowing with each locking of lips. Before he can do the same to Marcie, the Stranger appears again, telling Seth that he’s come to bring the latter’s reign of death and terror to an end. Seth doesn’t seem very scared, as he warns that he, a soul-sucking vampire, can only be killed by a truly pure soul, and he knows the Stranger doesn’t qualify. The two engage in a brief fight before Marcie knocks the Stranger out with a piece of statuary. While Seth drains the Stranger’s life force, she notices the corpses of the hippies and turns the tables on Seth by offering to become his queen, before snatching his necklace and smashing it, killing the demon. After a few parting words of wisdom from The Stranger, she gets into the van that the hippies no longer need and seeks out her next adventure, and her ongoing pursuit of finding her own truth.
I think what I like most about these little shorts is that their condensed nature means that there’s no room to pad these stories out with endless fight scenes. I’ve brought up before that a lot of the feature length films don’t feel like they have sufficient story to justify their lengths. Looking back, I think a lot of them sacrificed the possibility of adding a second or third plotline because what most of the people watching these are interested in are those superhero fights: punch, punch, laser eyes, kick, punch, piledriver. Being much shorter, these have exactly the amount of narrative substance for their run time, without the need to include the fight scenes that I often found extraneous, tiresome, and repetitive in the movies. This is a nice little kernel of a story about an ingénue with ingenuity and the mysterious being that acts as her guardian angel at just the moment that she needs it most in order to avoid falling under the spell of an eldritch entity. The short it’s most reminiscent of is The Spectre, as that story was also a period piece about a supernatural antihero, although this one is lacking in some of the creative scares of that first short. What it has in its place is some of the most interesting animation out of any of these, with a psychedelic dance party that’s truly beautifully animated; in particular, a recreation of the kind of multi colored lights that would turn up in a happening party are extremely well done, as they play across both the background and the characters (imagine the club sequences from Godzilla vs. Hedorah). This was a great little bit of fun, and I’m consistently surprised at how much higher the good-to-not-so-good ratio of these is in comparison to the features.
Adam Strange eventually gets to some good places, but it takes too long to get there, especially for a short film. We open on an ironically named mining colony called “Eden,” where an unwashed drunken man gets into a scrap with some other miners outside of a dingy bar. As he goes down, he mutters “Take me, take me,” and we cut straight into his flashbacks. This is Adam Strange (Charlie Weber), formerly of planet Rann (in the comics he was a human teleported from Peru to Rann by an errant “zeta beam,” and while that tech appears here, no mention is made of Adam’s earthling origins, so it’s unclear if he’s supposed to be human or Rannian). On the day of the invasion of his planet by the hawkpeople of Thanagar, his wife was killed in a bombing, surviving only long enough to tell him that their daughter may have made it to safety. Before he can search for the girl, however, a “zeta beam” appears and teleports him to the Eden Corp colony. He immediately sets to work calculating when the beam may appear next, hoping it will take him home, but as the years pass he grows bitter and disagreeable. While sleeping off his drunken stupor, several of the miners at a nearby digging site go too deep, unwittingly allowing insectoid alien beasts the size of cars out, which slaughter most of the men, with only a few escaping to warn the colony. The colony foreman (Roger Cross), the closest thing that Strange has to a friend, asks him to join in the barricading of the town, but the older man is knocked out. He awakens when he hears the sound of the battle outside and dons his spaceman gizmos in order to go out and join the fight, where he manages to kill all of the attacking bugs, leading the colony folk to see him with new, awed respect. As the colonists are evacuated the following morning, he is invited to join them, but says he has to remain behind so that he can await the beam that will bring him home and help him find his daughter. As the evac ships depart, his rocket pack pings, alerting him that a zeta beam is inbound.
When writing about Beware My Power, I noted that it was odd that the series took so long to do a proper space story, given what a larger cosmic universe the comics are set in. That was more of a space opera, while this is a bite-sized space western. The narrative isn’t complex: a man who’s lost everything ends up in a frontier town as an outsider, he loses hope of ever seeing his missing daughter again, and he gains the respect of the townsfolk by managing to defend them against an external force. It’s a little bit Shane with a dash of Tremors; it’s The Magnificent Seven with Aliens on the side. And man, once the bug creatures show up, they do some real damage, slicing dudes in half and spraying one miner with an acid that melts his face clean off like he looked into the Ark of the Covenant. I wrote in the review just prior to this one that a lot of the fights in the longer movies are the least interesting things in them, but this one has a story that feels a little rote, and it’s greatly enlivened by the alien attack. And, if you’re a completist, this one is supposedly part of the “Tomorrowverse” continuity, with this film serving to set up the appearance of Adam Strange (albeit in a different art style and with a different voice actor), so have at it. If you’re going to put together that spooky season playlist that I keep harping on about, this one might work alongside the others, but it’s also the one during which your guests are most likely to take a quick bathroom break.
Batman: Death in the Family (2020), released solo with other shorts
It’s impossible for me to rate this one, since it’s not really a short film at all? It’s listed as one on the series’ Wikipedia page, and even noted as a sequel to Under the Red Hood, but this one is more of an interactive experience à la Bandersnatch, which came out a few years prior. There were nine different story paths with seven alternate endings, starting from the point at the beginning of Red Hood in which Joker beats Robin nearly to death with a crowbar. The viewer would then select either “Robin Dies” (in which case the events play out exactly as they did in Red Hood), “Robin Cheats Death” (in which Jason becomes a vigilante with his face wrapped in bandages like Hush), or “Batman Saves Robin” (in which Batman, um, saves Robin but dies in the process). From the last of these choices there are further branches: either Jason kills the Joker (and from there either turns is captured by or escapes from the police, depending on your choice) or catches the Joker (which ends in either a bombing that kills all participants or a relatively bittersweet ending). I felt pretty lucky to discover that it was on Tubi, the people’s streaming service, and then balked when I saw that its runtime was over ninety minutes. I assumed that this meant that this must be the digital version which, according to Death in the Family’s own wiki page, is 96 minutes long and contains all story paths. However, that’s not what’s online, and I didn’t get all of those different pathlines above from watching every version; they came from the internet.
See, the version of Death in the Family on Tubi doesn’t contain all possible endings like the broadcast version of Clue; in fact, it’s just the “Robin Dies” narrative, which, if you recall, is just the plot of Under the Red Hood, again. It’s like a Reader’s Digest condensed version of that movie, where everything “extraneous” is cut out and the film’s entire plot is recounted in new voiceover from Bruce Greenwood, which is to say, it’s just a shorter, worse version of the earlier movie. Worse, it’s not even consistent with UTRH, since Bruce repeatedly refers to Jason as “son,” which is something he never did in the original film, and I think that it’s narratively important that this is the case. The closest thing to a term of endearment that he’s able to spare in his grief is in his mournful six word line: “My partner. My soldier. My fault.” All that is added is a final scene where we learn that this recap has been provided from Bruce to Clark Kent, who praises him for facing his inner demons or some such fluff.
However! If you noticed that the above doesn’t account for the hour-and-a-half runtime that’s on Tubi; that’s because there are several other of these shorts right after it, and which are not mentioned in the description. And one of them is the previously nigh-unfindable Sgt. Rock! Rock is followed by Adam Strange, The Phantom Stranger, and finally Death, which means that your Halloween playlist is already kinda made for you! And that I didn’t have to rent Hush and expose my nerdiness to the rental clerks after all. Alas. This also prompted me to check out the other Tubi listings for the shorts, and found that the 25-minute Return of Black Adam has a listed runtime of 62 minutes – because it’s followed by The Spectre and Jonah Hex (although they stuck Green Arrow there in the middle). Go forth with this knowledge, and enjoy!
The titular Kamandi is, in fact, the last boy on this post-apocalyptic earth, which bears more than a passing similarity to the distant future earth of Planet of the Apes (uh, spoiler alert, I guess?). Kamandi (Cameron Monaghan) takes his name from the bunker in which he was raised, Command D, by his now-dead grandfather. Outside of the bunker, despite a maximum of two generations having passed, the animals of the earth have evolved both anthropomorphically and anthropologically, speaking English and living in hierarchical structures. One such animal, Kamandi’s friend Tuftan, is the prince of the Tiger Kingdom (presumably no relation), and the plot opens with Kamandi rescuing Tuftan from some rat guys. Unfortunately, in their escape from one captor, they are captured by ape men on horseback, along with some of those rat dudes. Turns out these apes are cultists, who are dedicated to finding the reincarnation of a god they call The Mighty One. To that end, they have created a series of challenges to test the mettle of potential messiahs: to leap across a giant chasm, to weather a hallway full of tripwired guns and an acidic gas, and to defeat a giant insect monster (lot of those lately). Kamandi and Krew—including a guy named Ben Boxer who assures us that he is not human despite his appearance as well as an ape who has trained for this moment (and who could forget, a few dear rat boys)—manage to make it the whole way. Tuftan breaks his foot on the first obstacle, and although he orders Kamandi to leave him, he refuses. The hallway of machine guns is only passable when Ben Boxer says that this test requires “a man of steel” and changes his body into metal so that the others are shielded by him. Boxer falters when the acidic gas is released, Kamandi reasons that there are some acids that are more effective against metal than flesh and rushes through the green cloud to reach the shut-off valve, at the expense of burning himself, although not terribly. In the final test, Kamandi manages to wrest the control collar off of the huge bug monster, which earns him the animal’s trust and allows him to emerge as the victor of the confrontation without having to cause harm, while also showing mercy to the ape man who has been antagonizing him. As it turns out, the “Mighty One” that the ape cult worship was actually Superman, and they have one of his outfits in their shrine, waiting to be given to the person who exemplified the characteristics of their god — not strength of invulnerability or tactical prowess, but mercy and wisdom.
This doesn’t hold up much if you think about it too hard. That machine gun hallway is just a death trap; although there is a cooperative element to surmounting that obstacle, that makes it more of a test of teamwork than anything else, and really only if you’ve already got a bulletproof teammate. Kamandi shows compassion by helping the others cross the chasm once he reaches the other side, but it’s still a test that requires at least one person who is capable of a superhuman feat. I suppose that could mean that this is left up to the potential interpretation that maybe Kamandi truly is destined to walk this path, but I assume that most viewers are like me and would immediately dismiss a religion that’s less than a century old and devised by uplifted apes as … probably not true. According to the DC Universe Wikipedia page, this one is supposed to be a part of the Tomorrowverse (I’m so close to never having to type that again that I can taste it), and it’s part of Justice Society that Kamandi somehow travels back to (a parallel earth’s) 1940s to deliver the superclothes to the Superman. Damned if I remember that happening, to be honest, but I guess that makes this whole story a predestination paradox: Kamandi has to give past Superman his suit, so that he can become Superman, so that an ape cult will worship him after the apocalypse, so that they can give Kamandi the suit, so he can go back to the past, etc. Gee, sounds kinda stupid when you put it that way, huh? Predestination paradoxes are just destiny with a few extra steps, so I suppose it’s internally consistent.
I’m being hard on this one for no real reason, though, as I actually found it fun. I liked the choice of art style here, which is very reminiscent of Kirby’s style for the original run of the comic in the 1970s. It’s also fun to do something completely different from the rest of the franchise at large. These shorts have erred mostly on the spooky side, which I have loved, and in so doing they’ve been able to focus on characters who aren’t the same old roster of mostly superheroes and the occasional wizard, and I’ve really enjoyed these smaller stories. This is the weirdest one yet, and it’s a lot of fun to see a tiger guy run an obstacle course with his equally weird pals. You’d never see a feature length animation about this weird post-apocalyptic world, and we’re all going to be dead before they get desperate enough for comic books material that James Gunn makes this part of whatever he’s got stewing over there, so I’m glad that this ride exists to be taken.
This was the first of these shorts that I watched, as it was one that I found online and worried it would be scrubbed before I got the chance to watch it. This short features characters from the comic team “The Losers,” which was a collection of previously unrelated WWII characters brought together into a single unit in 1969 in an issue of G.I. Combat, a DC war comics anthology that ran for over thirty years, from 1952 to 1987. There was Navajo pilot Johnny Cloud (here voiced by Martin Sensmeier), who always destroys his planes after a mission, Gunner and Sarge (both voiced by Dave B. Mitchell), two “mud-marines,” accompanied by their white German Shepherd in the Pacific Theater, and Captain William Storm, a one-legged PT Boat captain who had previously helmed his own self-titled series from 1964 to 1967. There was also a single issue character named Henry “Mile-a-Minute” Jones, who appears here in this film, voiced by Eugene Byrd. Following their initial “team-up,” The Losers went on to become the main feature of Our Fighting Forces, yet another DC war anthology that ran from 1954 to 1978.
There’s not much to this one. The short, which runs about 13 minutes, features the above-mentioned characters being tasked with infiltrating an island that has seen the sudden appearance of several dinosaurs, aided by Chinese intelligence agent Fan Long (Ming-Na Wen). After a couple of close calls, including Storm being grabbed by the leg and appearing to be in imminent mortal danger in the mouth of a T. Rex, the group comes upon a research camp next to an anomaly that Fan identifies as a “laceration,” a rift in time through which the dinosaurs have made their way. After a few actions that demonstrate that Fan is willing to risk the lives of her companions in order to complete her mission, it’s discovered that she already killed the research team, and she confirms that she was sent by her government to find a way to harness the power of the laceration, which could yield power even greater than that of the in-development atomic bomb. In what I suppose would be a twist for the viewer familiar with The Losers, Cloud plans to fly a plane into the rift to destroy it, only to be relieved by Storm, who sacrifices himself instead, so Cloud doesn’t lose this particular plane. It’s thin on just about everything, and there’s not much to write home about here.
The last of the independent shorts to be released to date, Blue Beetle is a cute throwback to the Hanna Barbera animation of the 70s, and could easily be slotted into a block of Superfriends without being noticeably different from the cartoon segments that surround it, other than its humor being too self-aware to truly blend in. Blue Beetle is not Jaime Reyes here but Ted Kord (Matt Lanter), who teams with conspiracy theorist The Question (David Kaye) while investigating a diamond theft at the hands of the Squid Gang, so named because of their suits that feature suckers which allow them to climb the outside of buildings for their heists. The two do some goofy detective work, as they find a chemical at the crime scene that is only found in a now-defunct soda that was discontinued because it contained too much caffeine. Using the penny from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny tray at one of the last places still selling old soda stock, they trace it to the lair of the villain who has hired the Squids, a “Doctor Spectro” (Tom Kenny) who plans to use the diamond for his mind control ray. In the meantime, he’s been able to get some traction in the brainwashing sphere through the use of the soda, which includes bringing heroes Captain Atom and Nightshade under his sway. The Question is able to get through to Captain Atom long enough for him to use his powers to turn the soda into its own antidote, releasing him and Nightshade from Spectro’s thrall, although he manages to escape to sow villainy another day. And hey, Blue Beetle made a friend!
There’s a moment in this one where the entire fourth wall is demolished, as Blue Beetle and The Question face off against Atom and Nightshade, to which he replies that they shouldn’t be enemies as “[they]’re all Charlton Comics characters,” pulling out a comic book and showing it to the others. Charlton was one of many smaller comics publishers that DC bought out before folding that imprint’s characters into their larger comics canon. Long ago, Alan Moore was tasked with penning a miniseries that would incorporate the Charlton characters into DC proper and ended up creating Watchmen, one of the most important and groundbreaking comics ever published, although by the time it hit print the characters had changed. Blue Beetle became Owlman, The Question became Rorschach, Captain Atom became Dr. Manhattan, and Nightshade become Silk Spectre. As a result, this one plays out a bit like the Watchmen Babies bit from The Simpsons, albeit as more of a Saturday morning cartoon that you might catch between Partridge Family 2200 A.D. and Jabberjaw (although, come to think of it, we kind of have an 80s version of that as well). It’s a loving parody of that which it mocks, right down to the repeated animation (Nightshade kicks Beetle in the same animation cycle at three different points in their scuffle), and its jokes mostly land, with Beetle trying and failing to pretend that he’s not Ted Kord when The Question sees right through him being a great repeating gag. A strong finish for this series of shorts, and one worth seeking out.
Constantine: The House of Mystery, released 2022 as the feature presentation on a Showcases Round-Up DVD
Technically, this is the last thing that was released as part of the DCAMU (I am so tired of typing that acronym). Taking place immediately after Constantine sends Flash back in time to reset the timeline, Constantine finds himself once again in the “House of Mystery,” where he opens a door to find his lover Zatanna and several of his old friends enjoying a meal, which is then interrupted by the appearance of two little moppets, a boy and a girl, who greet him as their father. This idyllic moment quickly turns to horror, however, as they begin to cough up blood, before the other adults in the room turn into demonic horrors who rip him apart, only for him to once again wake up in the same hallway in the House of Mystery, enter another room, and have another situation in which he is loved and appreciated turn into a bloodbath. He’s stuck in a Groundhog Day loop of horror, for centuries according to his monologue, and while he learns from each iteration how to more quickly escape his fate and avoid pitfalls, it always ends in his death. He only manages to finally break free when he allows a demon to whom he has sold his soul to find out where he is, so that when said demon, Nergal, comes to claim him, he must face off against two other demons with whom Constantine has made the same bargain. Escaping in the ensuing chaos, Constantine comes face to face with The Spectre, who reveals to John that his meddling with the universe by trying to create another Flashpoint has made the universe itself angry at him, and that Spectre had put him in the House of Mystery not as imprisonment for his meddling but to hide Constantine from the universe’s wrath. The irony is that Constantine was supposed to be able to spend eternity in the House with his loved ones in heaven-like bliss, but John’s self-hatred was so powerful that his mind refused to accept paradise and turned it into an endless hell. As John is dragged away by forces unknown, Spectre sadly intones: “Woe to you, John Constantine.”
Writing that description out, I almost gave this one an extra half star after deciding on three after my initial viewing. The problem is that this one is a fascinating story with a pretty thin premise, and even at a mere twenty-six minutes, runs a little too long. This one could easily have been another ten minute miracle like The Spectre or Phantom Stranger, but instead, the looping deaths drag on a bit. I understand the idea that, for us to believe that John would allow for his soul debtors to come looking for him as his last ditch attempt to get out of his personal hell, we have to see him make a few failed attempts at escape. I also understand that the length of time that we spend watching him is part of the point, but its runtime works against it. Like the mediocre Return of Black Adam that was pushed out to 20+ minutes when it would have functioned better by keeping the leanness of the other Showcase shorts, this one ends up being less bang for more buck. The need to make this the cornerstone and selling point of a DVD release with other shorts is probably the reason for this, which is just another example of DC shooting itself in the foot via its need to market these. Alas.
I’ve actually really loved the version of John Constantine that this little film subseries has pulled off, and with City of Demons as one of the highlights. The need to revisit the end of Justice League Dark robs that previous film of some of the strength in its ending, and the continuation lessens both the dour finality and optimistic possibility of a new world. On the other hand, that matters a lot less to me than the chance at one more character study of John Constantine. Just as I liked the tragic ending of City of Demons, one more look into the life and mind of this character, and the revelation that his self-hatred is so deep and powerful that it robbed him of the chance of eternal happiness but also happiness for eternity is heady and wonderful. It’s just too bad that it takes too long to get there.
This is not my time of year. While every multiplex in town is overbooked with screenings of four-quadrant crowd-pleasers like Wicked: Part 1, Moana 2, and Gladiator 2, my e-mail inbox is overflowing with FYC screeners for the critical favs that premiered at festivals months ago but distributors have held back for optimal last-minute Oscar buzz. Neither option is especially appealing to me, personally, as most of my favorite new releases tend to be the high-style, low-profile genre titles that quietly trickle into local arthouse cinemas during the first half of the year, playing to mostly empty rooms. Still, I make an effort to catch up with what hipper, higher-minded critics single out as The Best Movies of the Year, mostly as an effort to stay informed but also somewhat as an effort to not waste my time & money on the corporate IP currently clogging up American marquees. It’s during this holiday-season FYC ritual that I’m most often confronted with my most hated & feared cinematic enemies: Subtlety, Nuance, and Restraint. It’s also when I watch the most capital-A Acting, since these tend to be projects greenlit & distributed with the intent of stirring up awards buzz for a particular performer on the poster. If there’s any one theme to the trio of FYC screeners I happened to watch over Thanksgiving break, it’s that they were all easy-to-watch dramas about difficult-to-handle people, each highlighting the acting talents of their headlining performers by allowing them to get socially & emotionally messy onscreen without other cinematic distractions getting the way – petty details like dynamic, daring cinematography and editing, the art of the moving image.
If you’re ever in the mood to watch a movie that values acting over any other cinematic concern, you can always look to actors-turned-directors to scratch that itch. Jesse Eisenberg’s second directorial work, A Real Pain, is a two-hander acting showcase for himself and screen partner Kieran Culkin, who are both good enough in the movie that it’s been in The Awards Conversation for almost a full year since it first premiered at Sundance. Jesse Eisenberg stars as a Jesse Eisenberg type: a nervous New Yorker who can barely finish a conversational sentence without having a panic attack. Kieran Culkin is his socially volatile cousin: a bi-polar timebomb who breaks every unspoken social convention imaginable while still managing to charm every stranger he meets. Structurally, the film is a travel story about the cousins’ journey to Poland to reconnect with their Jewish heritage in the wake of their grandmother’s recent death, which leads to a lot of solemn sightseeing at major sites of The Holocaust. From scene to scene, however, it functions as a darkly, uncomfortably funny comedy about two men who love each other very much but have incompatible mental illnesses that make it impossible for them to share a room. No one wants to hear their Awards Season drama described as a breezy, 90min Sundance dramedy about The Holocaust, but that’s exactly the movie that Eisenberg made. A Real Pain‘s saving grace, then, is the strength of the performances the two central actors deliver as absurdly difficult people. Culkin’s social brashness and emotional volatility makes his difficulty more immediately apparent, but Eisenberg gives himself plenty of room to do his Nervous Fella schtick as much as possible. It’s an anxious archetype that Culkin’s character aptly describes as “an awesome guy stuck inside the body of someone who’s always running late.”
Marielle Heller is another actor-turned-director who has made empathy for difficult characters a core tenet of her artistry, most successfully in Can You Ever Forgive Me? and The Diary of a Teenage Girl. Her new adaptation of the Rachel Yoder novel Nightbitch doesn’t reach far beyond that search for empathetic cheerleading, though, and the movie is mostly a dud as a result. Amy Adams stars as a visual artist who has put her creative pursuits aside to raise a child while her husband travels for work. Spending weeks in isolation with only her young child for company, she loses her adult social skills and essentially goes feral, convincing herself that she is physically transforming into a dog. Suppressing her artist’s spirit to play housewife breaks her brain, causing her to hallucinate monstrous canine hair, tail, and nipple growth in the mirror and to act out wildly in public (barking, stealing food off strangers’ plates, dressing her son in a leash, etc.). Where her internal fantasy of motherhood bringing out her most animalistic traits ends and her external, real-life social misbehavior begins is intentionally kept vague, as Heller is more concerned with seeing the world through her protagonist’s color-blind eyes than with constructing genuine, heartfelt drama. Nightbitch is conceptually amusing as a body-horror metaphor for how motherhood physically & mentally transforms you, but it’s pretty lackluster in execution, especially as a page-to-screen adaptation. There are long stretches of narration in which Adams recites passages from Yoder’s book, as if Heller’s relationship with the material was more admiration than inspiration. She’s so concerned with landing its political jabs about gendered, invisible domestic labor that she forgot to make its characters feel like real people, so the whole thing ends up hollow & phony no matter how committed Adams’s performance is as the titular Nightbitch. It should’ve been an audiobook.
Mike Leigh did not start his career as an actor, but he does have a career-long history as a stage theatre director, which is a very actorly profession. That background heavily informs the sparse, minimalist approach to familial drama in his new film Hard Truths, which sits with its characters’ interpersonal conflicts rather than resolving them. As the most difficult person of all in this triple feature, Marianne Jean-Baptiste stars as a middle-aged grump who wages a one-woman war against the “smiling, cheerful people” of the world for 100 relentlessly sour minutes, including her own loving sister. Her performance is intensely funny and bitter, as she finds so much to complain about every second she is awake that she cannot even sit comfortably in her own home without obsessing over the activities of the pigeons, foxes, and bugs outside the window. There are multiple scenes that start with her gasping in horror at the sensation of waking up from a nap, and her nonstop tirades against the waking world’s many offenses leads to the highest incredulous-teeth-sucking-per-minute ratio I’ve ever seen in a movie as her audience is held hostage by her hostility. Meanwhile, a softly droning violin draws out the pathos of her pathological misery, especially in scenes where her much better adjusted sister gently attempts to diffuse her anger. Leigh pays careful attention to the social & economic circumstances of the sisters’ past that would’ve burdened one with awareness of the world’s wretchedness while leaving the other unscathed, but most of the thematic & emotional impact of the picture is achieved through the forcefulness of Jean-Baptiste’s performance, which is exactly how all of these movies work, even the lesser ones.
If any of these movies indulge in the Subtlety, Nuance, and Restraint that torment me during the Awards Season screener deluge every year, it’s Hard Truths, which is what makes it so unfortunate that it’s the best of this batch. If all of the cinematic value of a picture is going to be invested in the difficulty & thorniness of a central performance, that performance might as well reach for the extremity of Marianne Jeanne-Baptiste’s, which is a cinematic spectacle in and of itself. The problem with Amy Adams, Kieran Culkin, and Jesse Eisenberg’s performances—if there is one—is that you always get the sense that their respective directors need you to like their characters, so they’re careful not to push their difficult-person conflicts far enough to abandon the audience. Mike Leigh is fearless in that respect, even if he restrains himself elsewhere. Marianne Jean-Baptiste’s hopeless grump is somewhat lovable as a movie character, but you wouldn’t want to be in the same room as her for ten consecutive minutes, whereas you could easily imagine yourself splitting a bottle of wine with Adams, Culkin, or Eisenberg’s grumps to hear more of their side of things. If I’m going to watch a low-key movie about a high-maintenance individual, I’d prefer that character to be as high-maintenance as possible. Make them a real pain, a real bitch – a really, truly difficult person.
Swampflix 
